Hey kids! Tired of the same old influence metrics? You know, boring stuff like intelligence, expertise, relevance (ho hum) – the stuff your grandpa used to figure out if people were worth listening to?!? What if there were a system that let you make anybody look influential about anything online? Well there is, and it’s called Klout! (And we Beg to Differ.)
Wait Dennis, when did YOU become a unicorn expert?!?
Well, funny story. I never did. And I barely ever even discuss unicorns – apart from this one blog post. But I was young!
No, my Klout page says I’m influential about unicorns because I’ve been hit with a #KloutBomb. Other folks playing #KloutBomb (like Jeff Esposito or Amy Vernon – both excellent targets by the way) told Klout I was influential about Unicorns, and so, like magic, I am!
And sure, all of this *may* just show how hollow and game-like the whole Klout ranking system really is. But rather than railing against it, opting out, parodying it like Klouchebag by the brilliant British wag Tom Scott, or even taking a measured thoughtful approach (yawn), why not just game the Klout game for pure, deviant fun?
And here’s how you can play #Kloutbomb too!
- Go to a friend’s Klout page – preferably not one of those stuffed shirts who actually takes their Klout score seriously. On second thought, yeah, especially one of those! I recommend Jeff Esposito. He adores getting a good #Kloutbomb!
- Click the “See All…” link that appears under “Influential about (X) Topics”. This will take you to their Topics page.
- Give them +K. If they’ve already gotten a #Kloutbomb, you’ll see odd and humourous topics like some of those shown at right. If so, just click on the “Give +K” button to add to their score and bump up the #Kloutbomb topics in their list. You get five +K points to give out for every day you visit Klout, so don’t blow them all in one place!
- OR: You can add new topics by clicking on the “Add a topic”. So for example, today I gave Jeff a new topic: “Fabricated Rubber Products, Nec (Rubber Toys, Except Dolls)”. But note, this costs you five imaginary Klout bucks, so you can only do this once a day.
- Announce your #Kloutbomb to the world by Tweeting under that hashtag.
- Then, please let Beg to Differ know! Share your favourite #Kloutbomb topics in the Comments below.
Keep them 1) clean and 2) as obviously ridiculous as possible please!
While it might be fun to tag your boss with “Masturbation” (yes it’s really a topic), this is the public Internet, so don’t be a total jerk or commit professional suicide. Or if you do, just don’t tell them we sent you.